email component - sending mail via smtp fails on own server!

i have quite a strange problem with the email component
it never failed me before

but on the new server i installed an own exim4 mail server with imap/
pop/smtp
well,
- sending mails wie mail() works,
- sending mails via smtp from outside (like thunderbird email program)
works
- sending mails wie cake email component to myself (own domain) works
as well

but
- sending mails to other providers (gmx, web, ...) always returns
FALSE
i debugged it and found out after getting 503, it does authenticate
(line 816 ff):
$authRequired = $this->_smtpSend('AUTH LOGIN', '334|503');

the next statement returns 250 (line 829 ff) - thats fine too:
if (!$this->_smtpSend('MAIL FROM: ' . $this->_formatAddress($this-
>from, true))) {

but the next one fails (if its a foreign domain) (line 839 ff):
if (!$this->_smtpSend('RCPT TO: ' . $this->_formatAddress($to,
true))) {

it just returns an empty string (which of course results in "return
false")

the foreign email addresses are valid and this is my exim4 error log:

2010-06-03 22:45:10 H=my.domain.de (www.domain.de) [83.xxx.xx.102]
F=<kontakt@domain.de> rejected RCPT <name@foreigndomain.de>: relay not
permitted
2010-06-03 22:45:10 unexpected disconnection while reading SMTP
command from my.domain.de (www.domain.de) [83.xxx.xx.102]

exim4 is on default - no modifications so far
and - as i stated - its working if i connect via thunderbird mail
program. so the smtp server might not be responsible.
is it really the cake component which fails?

version:
cake1.3 head

i am really clueless whats going on here, why smtp does not work. any
ideas? that would save my day. thx

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